Modern Art Plus Therapy
August 24, 2016
Because I’m a photographer/videographer, people ask me all the time what I think of modern art. My opinion: not all that much. It’s mostly really pretentious stuff that places all the onus on the viewer, thus sparing you from having any talent. Anyone, and I mean ANYONE, can paint a canvas blue and put a white stripe in the middle. Anyone can mess up a bed and call it ‘a beautiful representation of primitive chaos’. Art takes talent. Fact.
Though I guess you can never really know how much talent goes into something…and the passion of the creator is important. I went to an exhibit recently that showcased a lot of modern photography, with one that capitalized on all that modern oxygen stuff people are doing. ‘Oxygen Therapy: Melbourne Medicine’, it was called. I really connected with it in the end, even though at first glance it was kind of odd. So you’ve got a man inside a hyperbaric chamber, dressed normally, reading a book. But the way he was photographed…it really hit home how science has crafted this way of taking in something that we desperately need, in such a casual way. You can’t see the oxygen, but the shot made the tanks and equipment really prominent. It was the same across the whole gallery: people in glass cases, surrounded by the gas they need to live, doing ordinary things. It was the mundane meeting a sort of invisible technological mastery. Really fascinating, even though the uninitiated might just look at some people in glass tanks and think it’s just an amusing set-piece.
Basically, it was a fusion of technology and art in a way you don’t often see, and it gained my respect. It also didn’t seem like it was too much of an advertisement, either. The people were going about their lives, very normal and serene, except they happened to be getting oxygen therapy. Melbourne exhibits are usually pretty interesting, but I found this one genuinely inspiring.
Don’t Ask Me to Film Your Wedding
August 9, 2016
As soon as you make it vaguely known that you have a camera, people start making requests like you wouldn’t believe.
‘Could you come and film my daughter’s sixth birthday party?’ I don’t know your daughter, that would be pointless and she’s not going to remember it anyway. Also, the whole ‘amateur home video’ feel just really works best for home videos, don’t you think?
‘Can you make a video promoting my dance troupe? We meet in Drouin’. Um, no.
‘Could you film our wedding??’ Oh boy, I get this a lot, so I might as well say it here: I don’t do wedding videography. Melbourne has plenty of people who’ll happily do that for you, but since I’m not registered as a business, I can’t be paid for it. Oh, and I’d need to be paid. It’s a passion, but people just don’t grasp the magnitude of filming a wedding. There’s pre-planning, meetings and the rehearsal. You have to show up early, be constantly vigilant for anything that might be happening. You have to go along to the reception and mostly not eat any food, which videoing people doing that. You have to speeches from people you neither know nor care about, and sometimes they’re terrible. And then, once that very long day is over, you have to go and edit every single hour of footage, painstakingly crafting it into something that you hope the happy couple will enjoy. And then sometimes, they don’t!
You expect me to do that without getting paid? I’m sorry, this isn’t me being cold; it’s just practical. You wouldn’t ask a friend to do that mountain of work, so don’t go asking me. I really hate saying no as well…but I know people in Melbourne that do wedding video, they’re good at it…and in fact I can point you to multiple companies, so you have an option. And yes, you might have to pay them something for their time. That’s really how business works, sadly.
Medicine Flipped: Dry Needling and More
August 2, 2016
I’m currently working on a side project that I’ve had shelved for a while. A few years ago a friend of mine suffering from terrible back pain told me about a new treatment method his doctor had recommended; trigger point dry needling. He said it was the best pain killer he has ever had. It got me thinking about alternative medicine and complementary pain therapies. A lot of people brush it all off as hoo-ha but there must be some sense to it, it’s a growing industry gaining more and more believers by the minute. I tried to speak to doctors that were qualified in delivering dry needling and it seemed many of them had been on the same trigger point dry needling courses. This got me off topic a little and I started planning segments about the culture of medics, and the social circles they move in. Another shelved idea. I tried to get access to patients that had undergone dry needling treatment but this wasn’t easy. Patient information is obviously highly confidential and I wasn’t able to get anything directly from osteopaths and chiropractors. So I went through my friend. First off, he himself had received treatment, and he belongs to various dry needling patient forums where people discuss their recoveries and treatment paths. I managed to get quite a few people to talk to me and it seemed the general response was overwhelmingly positive. I even managed to get some footage of dry needling courses happening in Melbourne. The training is extremely thorough and all the doctors I spoke to said they didn’t hesitate at all about offering dry needling as pain relief. I am hoping to make the entire film seem like a treatment path. I am starting with some stories of patients suffering with ongoing muscular pain, and then building in the doctor’s training and then finally, the closing scenes will be of success stories after treatment.
Fashion and makeup around the world
August 2, 2016
Beauty is a construction. This is the thesis I intend to purport in my next feature documentary film. I plan on showing this as I explore the aesthetics of various cultures, starting with the west and moving through each continent. There is no such thing as beauty — it’s purely invented and culturally dependent. How else could you explain one thing being considered extremely attractive in one culture and not in another?
The beginning of the documentary takes place in beauty therapy courses in Melbourne, where I interview students about their perceptions of beauty. Here we can expect to hear attitudes which echo our mainstream Western cultural ideals, for instance, the idea that tall and thin is beautiful, a healthy tan and minimal hair. You can see from all the services that beauty therapists and makeup artists offer that they are based on these ideals. By contrast, go across the globe where, in Latin America, women are expected to be more curvaceous and voluptuous. Even their fashion is markedly different. Where in the west our models where sleek streamlined designs down the catwalk, latin models strut in their vibrantly coloured garb. In central asia, especially Uzbekistan, monobrows are considered extremely beautiful and women who cannot grow them actually draw them on. Moving to Japan, women are naturally quite tan according to the Western beauty ideal, however many of them use skin whitening soaps, because paleness is considered beautiful. I’m sure the students at beauty therapy courses in Brisbane would be utterly shocked to hear this! Paleness in the west signifies unhealthiness, staying indoors and being antisocial. Women who have a healthy sunkissed glow are considered more bubbly and outgoing, and thus more attractive.
Inspiration from Childhood
July 26, 2016
One of my main inspirations- if one I don’t talk about too often- was the old show from the 1960s, Black-Ray. It was one of those super-marionette shows, with puppet people and a whole boatload of practical effects, because this was well-before CGI was a viable option. People were just forced to be more creative back then, which I love; and then they had to be even MORE so because all the actors were puppets. No highly-choreographed kung-fu for them; the effects, surroundings, sets, music and such had to do most of the work.
Anyway, Black-Ray was set around the docks of Melbourne, where outboard motor servicing guy Roy Squall would be called away to his secret government job piloting the high-tech underwater vehicle, Black-Ray. There was this group of underwater merpeople causing trouble every week, as merpeople do, and Black-Ray was the only line of defence against them taking over the surface world. Even though they were basically fish.
Yeah, so it was pretty dumb. But I really liked how Roy Squall was just an ordinary boat mechanic doing his job so well that he was picked by a government agency. He wasn’t a Gary Stu, either, often showing his flaws and lack of special skills since he wasn’t brought up as a secret underwater agent like his teammates. He was the everyman, I guess, and a really good example of one. I used to think (as a kid) that if I did my job really well, I’d be picked for a life of adventure. Not so sold on that idea now, but it’s still a guiding principle. And I guess anything that causes you to do your job well is good.
I have an idea for a film project now: a Black-Ray fan-film. Just a bit of indulgence on my part, and I have some contacts in the Melbourne outboard motor repair industry who can really make it happen. All practical effects, of course. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Let’s Make a Video, About Walls
July 18, 2016
I don’t get commissioned for projects all that often, so it’s kind of a big deal when it happens. Supposedly. I should be grateful, because this one was passed on from a friend and it’s really exciting or whatever. The opportunity is exciting, that is; I’m actually being employed by the Melbourne Concrete Rendering and Wall Appreciation Society (MCRWAS). Yeah, that’s a real thing. I looked them up, and it’s a surprisingly large group of people in their sixties roaming around the city and finding the best examples of house rendering and then admiring them. So it’s a bit like plane or birdwatching, but with 100% less birds and planes and 100% MORE staring at walls. Literally, that’s what they do. They try to make it sound exciting in the bio, but it was written by someone who…well, someone who sounds like they’re fascinated by walls.
See, the thing about concrete rendering is that it’s supposed to sort of be in the background. It enhances the look of your whole house, but it’s not for people to gawk at like an art exhibition. That’s not really how the phenomenon works. Of course, with this video I have the opportunity to stop and interview people, see how they walk from place to place and…that’s about it. There’s only so much footage you can get of people stopping and looking at a wall. Maybe I can capture the moment of admiration on their faces, or ask them how they got into this hobby, but I feel like I’ll get a lot of similar answers. They got into it because they love walls.
Or what do I know? Maybe I’ll bring my camera, complete the project and be converted to their way of thinking. I’ll see the brave individuals who do concrete rendering and house rendering within Melbourne and be enraptured, joining the conclave of believers. I’d be the first under sixty. But we’ll have to see…
June 28, 2016
I have decided to do something nice for my Mum. I finally have enough money to warrant splashing out on something nice for her. From birthing me to housing me to feeding me, she has really done her bit at looking after me so I figure it is time to return the favour. I have booked her a luxurious spa weekend at a country retreat spa out in Victoria. I am not going to tell her until I pick her up to go and get some breakfast, or so she thinks, but I will actually be taking her out to the spa! I am going to pack up a case for her, I think I can manage to gather everything she needs for a relaxing weekend, and then all I need to do is make sure she has nothing else planned for the weekend. She does have two big dogs that she takes out everyday so I am going to arrange someone to walk my dog in Melbourne for that to be taken care of. My mum is extremely precious about her dogs and they have to be taken the beach and the park before they are (she is) satisfied. The dog sitting service in Melbourne was incredibly understanding of the dog’s needs and said she would arrange for both of them to have an hour outside at both the beach and the park! With the dog arrangements sorted I just have to make sure she doesn’t make anymore weekend arrangements with friends. Normally she goes out for lunch with some old acquaintance or something but I didn’t want her to make plans she would have to cancel as my Mum hates a last minute cancelled. To avoid this ugly situation I told her I needed her help with a film I am making this weekend. I figured by saying that she would keep her entire weekend available, even if it is just to hold a light rig for me or walk by as an extra in one shot. I can’t wait to reveal what she will actually be doing!
My new job: Dishwasher repair arranger
June 20, 2016
Since I got fired from my job my family have all taken it in turns to slyly offer me work at their respective establishments. I finally accepted my aunt’s less than subtle hint to help her out at her catering business for a big event she has coming up. She keeps going on about how I am doing her a massive favour and she can’t thank me enough. I am not sure why they all think that I am too proud to just accept help in its purest form. My aunt is catering for a large fiftieth birthday party on Sydney harbour this weekend and needs my help with some of the logistics. First things first she needs help fixing her dishwashers. She recently bought two large commercial dishwashers as her business is growing but she doesn’t quite know how to use them so they keep breaking. My aunt is of an age whereby when I pull my phone out and two minutes later am calling a commercial dishwasher repairs company based in Sydney, she is amazed. She can’t get over it, technology hey! She is so impressed by my ability to arrange her dishwasher repairs that I immediately get a promotion. I am now head of logistics and pretty much anything that’s not to do with cooking falls under my department. I am not entirely sure how she ran this business before I joined. I arranged transport to and from the venue, liaised with the client about timings and payment, and paid all the outstanding bills my aunt had been ignoring from her wholesale food suppliers. From dishwasher repairs in Sydney, to negotiating the price of coconut flour from Indonesia my new job is diverse and keeps me on my toes. My aunt says if I continue the way I’m going I could be the CEO in no time. I’m not sure she quite understands the business side of things.
Documenting the rich and famous in their limos
June 8, 2016
I’m working on a new documentary project profiling the lives of Melbourne’s rich and famous. This includes your run of the mill rich people like celebrities and moguls, but also the shady characters of Melbourne’s underbelly: the cashed up gangsters and crooks.
I was trying to figure out how I could get close to these people and get to know them, how I could get the chance to videotape them when they’re in their element. Then I had a brilliant idea which I took from limo hire around Melbourne. I thought, what if I pose as a limousine driver? I’m not sure if this is going to work, but I’ll give it a crack.
I’m probably going to relearn how to drive because those limos don’t look easy. If I can’t get a job as a limo driver with any of the Melbourne limousine companies, then maybe I can just call them up and ask them for leads. This is a far less ideal option though because I bet they keep all their clients confidential. If I was actually the driver though, that would be a different story. The clients will probably point out that they haven’t seen a female limousine driver before and I can use that as my “in” to have a bit of a chat with them. You’ll be surprised how much people will open up to a stranger if you use the right methods to gain their trust. You learn some good techniques while working in the journalism/documentary making industry. I’ve decided to contact some companies that do stretch limousine hire. Melbourne has a bunch of good limo driving companies but that just makes me feel more hopeless because they probably only hire the best. And I’m a filmmaker not a limo drivers for Christ’s sake!
A film on the history of tulips
June 6, 2016
Most people give each other flowers in significant occasions. It may be an anniversary or a death, flowers can serve so many symbolic purposes. What most people don’t realise is that each of the most popularly cultivated flowers has a deep history from which its contemporary meaning derives. I want this to be the focus of my next documentary.
For this one, I’m thinking of tracing the history of of the tulip, from tulip bulbs to mature plant. I’m going to use the growth of the flower from its budding stages to its flowering and maturity as a metaphor for its history.
I was mistaken by thinking that the tulip was a western European plant. I guess they seemed hardy to me and they seem popular in England and Australia so I thought they derived from the anglophone speaking world. However, they actually originated in the levant, particularly Turkey where they were harvested many thousands of years ago. You can see tulips in ancient Turkish art and motifs, it’s really fascinated. I’m already getting ideas for my next short docco on the hyacinth. Bulbs to Flowers, I think I’ll call the series.
Today, tulips still represent perfect love. One interesting thing I learnt during my research on the tulip is that there are some discrepancies between the symbolism of the colours now compared to back them. For instance, yellow today is for friendship and cheerfulness, and all-purpose amiable colour. But back then it represented love, the kind of love that makes you feel helpless, wild and jealous. However, some people send yellow tulips to someone they love when they know that the other person doesn’t reciprocate those feelings. So that’s something to keep in mind if you ever experience unrequited love.